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Article Summary. Part 1 of Attend LGBT events. From pride parades to bar nights to casual social meetups, these events remove the pressure and uncertainty of trying to find other lesbians in straight spaces.

Look for them on meetup. If you're in the United States, find nearby community centers in the lgbtcenter. If you're not out to everyone in your life, consider going to events in a nearby town, where people are less likely to run into you.

Spend more time on your favorite social activities. Much as we'd all like to meet someone without having to leave the house, your potential partners won't cooperate with that plan.

Many a lesbian couple first met on a women's sports team or volunteering at an animal shelter , but you don't need to limit yourself to these stereotypes.

Throw yourself into a social activity or hobby you love, and your enthusiasm will attract people who share your interests.

Concerts are another great meeting spot. Look for bands with LGBT musicians or a significant lesbian fan base. Visit a lesbian bar.

These aren't too common anymore, so jump on the chance if there's still one in your town. Failing that, gay bars are worth a try.

Most of them are heavily weighted toward men, but you might find some with a regular lesbian night. Don't send the wrong signal by bringing your straight male friend to a gay or lesbian bar.

Date online. Websites and dating apps are extremely popular ways to meet. Here are some of the more popular options: OkCupid, Match.

If you're not out, use OKCupid's ability to hide your profile from straight people. Most mainstream dating apps tend to pair lesbians with men, unbelievable as that is.

Anecdotally, Hinge might be an exception. Make friends in the community. If you volunteered for one pride event and already met the woman of your dreams, congratulations — you're luckier than most.

For everyone else, take the long term view and form lasting friendships in your local lesbian and bisexual community. The dating pool is not the largest, and you'll probably see many of the same faces at different events.

If you can laugh off a bad first date and sympathize with fellow searchers, you'll make more contacts and be ready for more opportunities.

More importantly, you'll become part of a supportive community. Part 2 of Build confidence. It's normal to be shy when you approach someone you find attractive.

Do your best to stay positive and friendly no matter what happens, and you'll gain confidence with practice.

An easygoing attitude makes you more attractive, and makes you feel better as well. A supportive female wingman can help if you need the encouragement.

Just don't act too friendly, or the girl across the room might think you're a couple. The "is she straight? Making your moves in LGBT spaces can reduce your anxiety, especially when you're new to the experience.

Make eye contact and smile. If you don't have a ready-made icebreaker, such as a mutual friend to introduce you, this should be your first step.

If she holds eye contact for a couple seconds, smiles back, or repeatedly glances in your direction, take it as an invitation to approach.

Flirting can be as simple as these three steps: Turn your whole body to face her, smile, and hold eye contact while she speaks. Drop an occasional small compliment her eyes, her accessories, something she told you about that you find cool.

If she's responding well, brush your hand against her arm, or lean in to whisper something into her ear. Ask her out. Don't be afraid to strike while the iron is hot.

If she's been talking to you for five or ten minutes and seems happy, there's a good chance she's interested. And frankly, if it turns out she's straight, you'd rather find out sooner than later.

If you get her number, call her again after a day or two and arrange your first date. Part 3 of Be yourself. The idea of dating someone is to find out if the two of you are right for each other.

Pretending to be something you're not hinders this process and will likely lead to problems later on. If this is your first time dating a woman, or if you're unsure of your sexuality, say so.

If you're in the closet with your family, coworkers, or friends, talk about that once it's clear this relationship could go somewhere. Not everyone is willing to be your experiment, or to be introduced as "just a friend" to your parents.

Rough as it is to close the door on a relationship, it will only get more painful if you delay the conversation. Equally, if you've been out for years and your date is more private about her identity, talk to her about it.

Learn each other's comfort zones early on. Get to know each other. Talk about your interests, and ask about hers. The first few dates are about forming a connection.

Ask her follow-up questions "How often do you go there? If she seems reluctant to talk, switch to a light-hearted topic to make her comfortable.

Avoid getting too personal. Save that for later, when a more lasting commitment is on the table. Never talk about your past relationships on a date.

It can be hard to avoid mentioning a name if you've been dating a while in a close-knit lesbian community, but that doesn't mean your date needs to hear about your sex life or emotional bond with another person.

Talk about your expectations. Honest communication is the most important part of any relationship. This is even more vital if one or both of you are fairly new to same-sex dating or dating in general , and may have unclear expectations for social situations.

Apparently minor etiquette issues such as who pays for the meal can add unnecessary tension. Relax and have a conversation before assuming it's a personal insult.

You are not reenacting a heterosexual relationship, and you don't need to assign "the man" and "the woman" roles. Contrary to some stereotypes, open relationships are not common among lesbians.

If exclusivity or the lack of it is important to you, discuss it before someone gets hurt. Keep it exciting. If you like where this is going, put in the effort to keep it new.

Date nights on exciting activities, heart-to-heart talks, and small, intimate moments are the lifeblood of a relationship. There's no standard amount of time or number of dates before you bring up the word "girlfriend," but if you're both happy and interested, the moment will come.

What can I do if I like my lesbian friend who just broke up with her girlfriend? Give her some time to process her emotions; it's not healthy to jump immediately from one relationship to another.

Be there for her, provide support and comfort, and when she's ready to date again, let her know that you're interested.

Not Helpful 15 Helpful Yes, absolutely. Many people start to get crushes and have romantic or sexual feelings at your age, or even a little younger.

You can absolutely know you're gay when you're 11, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Not Helpful 34 Helpful I like my bisexual friend, and she knows that I'm lesbian.

Should I tell her how I feel and see how she reacts to see if she feels the same? You should tell her. She probably feels the same way, you never know what she's thinking.

Not Helpful 21 Helpful My girlfriend broke up with me. I got asked out the day after by a really cute girl, but I declined.

It's been a month now and I really want to go out with her now that I'm ready. How can I ask her out? Things are always so awkward around us now.

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Apparently minor etiquette issues such as who pays for the meal can add unnecessary tension. Relax and have a conversation before assuming it's a personal insult.

You are not reenacting a heterosexual relationship, and you don't need to assign "the man" and "the woman" roles. Contrary to some stereotypes, open relationships are not common among lesbians.

If exclusivity or the lack of it is important to you, discuss it before someone gets hurt. Keep it exciting. If you like where this is going, put in the effort to keep it new.

Date nights on exciting activities, heart-to-heart talks, and small, intimate moments are the lifeblood of a relationship. There's no standard amount of time or number of dates before you bring up the word "girlfriend," but if you're both happy and interested, the moment will come.

What can I do if I like my lesbian friend who just broke up with her girlfriend? Give her some time to process her emotions; it's not healthy to jump immediately from one relationship to another.

Be there for her, provide support and comfort, and when she's ready to date again, let her know that you're interested. Not Helpful 15 Helpful Yes, absolutely.

Many people start to get crushes and have romantic or sexual feelings at your age, or even a little younger. You can absolutely know you're gay when you're 11, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Not Helpful 34 Helpful I like my bisexual friend, and she knows that I'm lesbian. Should I tell her how I feel and see how she reacts to see if she feels the same?

You should tell her. She probably feels the same way, you never know what she's thinking. Not Helpful 21 Helpful My girlfriend broke up with me.

I got asked out the day after by a really cute girl, but I declined. It's been a month now and I really want to go out with her now that I'm ready.

How can I ask her out? Things are always so awkward around us now. You can explain to her why you declined her and ask if she's still interested.

Just say, "Hey, I know I said no to you when you asked me out a while back because I had just broken up with my girlfriend and wasn't really ready to go out with someone new.

But if you're still interested, I'd like to go out with you. Not Helpful 27 Helpful I am a boy and attracted to a girl. She says that she is a lesbian.

She doesn't look like one, and I want to have a relationship with her. What kind of approach must I use? You don't have to 'look like' a lesbian to be one.

Not all lesbians look a certain way, just as straight people can look all kinds of ways. If she says she is a lesbian, you have to respect that.

You can't change someone's sexuality, and you can't force yourself on someone, regardless of their sexuality. Not Helpful 77 Helpful Try rubbing her shoulder, holding her hand, or playing with her hair.

If she smiles, smile back at her and tell her how pretty or hot she looks. Then move in for a kiss. Small gestures can be very romantic.

Why does my friend, a girl, always hold onto my arm and rest her head on my shoulder? Some girls are just affectionate with their friends like that.

So it could mean nothing, or it could mean she has feelings for you. It's hard to tell just from this information. If you're interested in her romantically, you should ask her.

At what age do I start having sexual feelings? I am 12, which seems young, but I often stare at girls more. Am I a lesbian? You can start questioning at any age.

You are not necessarily lesbian, you could be bisexual if you like boys as well, or you could just be curious. There's no rush to figure these things out, it will likely become more clear in time.

Not Helpful 12 Helpful You could tell them that, honestly, they're nice and you value their friendship, if applicable , but you're just not interested in that kind of relationship with them.

If they're persistent, be firm -- once you've told them no, you shouldn't have to continue to invest yourself in shielding them from reality.

Not Helpful 23 Helpful If you want to be her friend, just treat her kindly and with respect. If you mean romantically, you can't.

She will never be interested. Just find someone else. Not Helpful 14 Helpful Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

If you have a friend you think might be into you, ask for advice from mutual friends or from online LGBT forums such as After Ellen.

It can be hard to tell friendliness and romantic interest apart, especially if you're crushing on her or if you're not sure of her sexuality.

Someone less involved in the situation can help you make a smart decision, and evaluate what it could do to the friendship. Helpful 5 Not Helpful 1.

A popular joke in lesbian communities not always a kind one references the "U Haul lesbian" that moves in with her girlfriend on the second date.

Nowadays, the joke can fall flat: if you live in an LGBT-friendly area, there are enough places to meet and date that people take a more casual approach.

Helpful 5 Not Helpful 0. Be careful when dating online. There are people that can badly hurt you out there. But there are also people that are good.

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Related wikiHows. Co-authors: Updated: June 4, Article Summary X To get a lesbian girlfriend, try going to LGBT social events or venues in your area, like nightclubs, parades, or hangouts, which are great ways to meet other lesbians.

Italiano: Avere una Fidanzata Lesbica. Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Kekasih Lesbian. Nederlands: Een vriendin krijgen als je lesbisch bent.

Deutsch: Eine lesbische Freundin bekommen. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,, times.

In high school, I met the girl of my dreams, she had a boyfriend but that didn't stop me from being attracted to her, she told me she liked me when she started hanging out with me, and we hooked up, then we got together with her boyfriend.

Tara Arkebauer Jan 16, I am only 13, but long for a girlfriend and possible lifelong partner. Chrissie Mosire Mar 9, I feel I can finally have the courage to ask my crush out!

Adele Rodgers Jul 9, I am a lesbian, but I have never dated anyone before. This really helps me start somewhere! Rosa Milanio Mar 8, Other than that, it's great!

Anonymous Feb 8, I was afraid of approaching a girl but now I know what to do and what is expected of me. Lil Romeze Dec 15, I'm pretty sure this will work very well.

She is very important to me. Lynn McGinley Apr 26, I want to get to know her more and possibly go out with her. Kris Gulley Aug 21, She still has a crush on me, and I want to get back together with her.

Rated this article:. Lenah Oct 23, Eva Times Aug 8, Flora Lee Sep 17, Madyson Leckie Jun 25, Anonymous Jun 6, More reader stories Hide reader stories.

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Close up. A young beautiful woman, blonde, is sitting at home in the kitchen and working on her laptop. Confectioner woman hands are turning stainless steel tube, making croissant.

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